wish u well

i just chat wif u-know-who. how sudden it happened

shouldn't reply it but wif him it's like a self-auto tg,so x in control bout it.

must reply,must reply n glad i did so =)

last few days, nuar asked me.

did i behave the same wif others, did i not reply and answer Q to others s well.

even i said (for millionth time,this is not the 1st time he asked) yup, he x believe it.

he shud not.

coz if its u-know-who..instant reply!!haha

well,he's just in a diff position??standard??

well, he's just not other guy.

anyway,day (nuar) is total crap!!

i got to block evry info in fb.

he's been bugging wif y i gave chance to fiq,an outsider n not to ur own ppl.

total bull*&^%^&. fiq post twice to me n he assume im giving him chance??!!

wat the hell??

wasting my time wif him,believing he'll change n act like a fren.

he's soo not, n x be one.

SEDIH and shocking

i didn't post a single tg since i came back home( byk sgt keje til no time to type kononnya)

busy mengadap jandi ang jun pyo (boys over flower korean version) berjam-jam.

anyway, juz came back from nadea's wed (all the detail later on)

a much more HOT n BERAPI-API...i think dah lame sgt tak rase geram mcm ni.

rase mcm losing sum1 u could trust.

i found out that my..huh!..blum tulis dah sigh

my lil' yg konon-kononnye masih innocent confirm couple (yes,couple btul2...like calling all the lovey-dovey names) wif my very own x-clasmates.

im M.A.D!!! n felt being cheated by her.

not bcoz i have any feeling wat-so-ever to this my so-called fren.

x sekumit( x sure if this word exist) pn feeling, it juz dat my sis x care at all to share the details to me.

not a word.

i knew they went out together(but not couple) pn from ma.it did sound fishy..

da agak si mamat ni try tackle wat-so-ever

but she x even want to share anytg!!!

i ni je yg baik(konon2nye), try to fill her up wif evry dtails of my scandal.

i thot i can be a more open n sharing sista (wif my elder i x tell coz she x care)

but i CARE!! evrytg bout her life!

i hate my family for being too secretive to each other.

x open to any topics n share evry feeling.

evry ups n down,thick n thin.

how to stick TOGETHER when we x even know each other prob??

but no one to be blame.coz i myself, keep the darkest,deepest secret to myself

if i ever own a family, this is totally x going to happen!!

tp i btul sedih my lil sista.y she x trust me enuff to tell,if its a stranger i could still accept it.

tp he's sum1 i knew.mamat tu pn sorg lg,xde pn mintak2 izin wif me!!

da la best fren pn unavailable je...

sedih!!! =(

getting rid of ‘bugs’—part 1

mr.W call last nite, accidently answer it (was setting d alarm n pick up)
since last week he’s been buggering me bout the whole wats-up-wif-u-n-p_n tg
n he text that he would like to hit on me (again!) if there’s notg between me n p_n.
i was like??..hello! y on earth would i confess or admit to u bout anytg!
i did told him the truth, notg happens btw me n p_n..for god sake!
n he ask me to lunch today.
s if i would let myself been bombarded wif some stupid Q again!

PLS GO BUG SUM1 ELSE!!!

wedding calls

got a call from hafizd few weeks back.
he’s getting married!!!
oh, i actually know it from his fb msg.
but only manage to talk to him now, lost my no. (thanks to fb!!)
anyway, of all my frens i can’t believe he’s finally going to get marry.
after all the heartbreaks n whining…haha
im sooo glad (n happy, of cos ) for him =)

n syam also text me after ages.
he x have my not-so-new-now number.
got it from yeop.
n guess wat??...he’s getting married too.

wow, 2 wedding invitation in a week!!
last week i got a YM msg from my x-rummy ammylea.
she’s getting married this july!!

n few days back yeop msg me that zila n azam getting married this june!!
OMG!! i x even know they already get back 2gether!!
since i lost touch of them both.

hemm…wow plus ina’wed this april…lotsa invitation.
unfortunately, i x go to ina’s n hafizd’s too (he’s in dec, i’ll b in uum that time)
i x make it to amylea’s too coz it’s early july.
semester just started.
huhu..wish i could attend n be part their ‘historical’ day.

anyway,feel pressure settling down??
so not!!
r u kidding me…married?? BIG NO! NO! for now.
but i terribly wish my big bro n sis happily married somehow.

xoxo

rokok iklan indonesia

i emailed an Indonesia advert on non-smoking campaign to u-know-who yesterday.

my first email to him after ages (i guess he still using the same one).

what made me sent one to him ;

anytg regarding cigar, non-smoking tg will remind me of him n his promises to quit by the age of 23 (yeah, the date already expired)

n i read the very ‘few’ email i had from him.

i really miss our conversation. our own deeper conversation.

where i could talk to him on almost everytg n in any form of communication.

i wonder if he have found sumone to replace me to talk.

i know i haven’t eventhough i tried.

this morning, anwar call n mention that it’s hard to ‘decode’ me.

he finally get it n talk straight to my faces.

he was right.

just like how ridh said that even after 4 sem, he still x know me.

no guys ever did actually (even though some claim to really knew me…haha)

i only ever trusted u-know-who, he knew the deepest secret.

but i guess the timeline back then, was one of the reason.

i was naïve…hemm…nope,x think it has anytg to do with the timeline.

it was basically just me.

me, who wasn’t willing to lean against anyone (but how i wish i could just trust again)

even though i kept complaining how i tired of ppl leaning against me.

how ppl want to share and seek for my presence.

i’ll try to open up myself to ppl.

let them in but it seems so hard.

like wif pa_n, it seems like we’ve been talking bout nothing lately.

the msg n phone call r all alike.we just talk bout the normal daily stuff.

(just much more elaboration compare wif ridh)

a very ‘routine’ conversation.

it came to a point where i x even know wat else to reply him.( its getting dat bad)

i used to ga-ga over his msg.

hemm…i really got turn off that quickly.

i shud this stop this, straining my head on the on-going dramarama

which had climax but never really end

definitely,myb

i just finished watched definitely.maybe.

finally finish coz it took me 2-3 days to watch, its not coz it dead-bored-just-talking sort of movie but bcoz i watched it during my ‘spare-boring-im-about-to-fell-asleep’ time. ------2moro my final exam start.huhu!!

so back to the movie, the my fren claim as ‘adult’ love story.

its pretty new kind of storytelling sort of movie.

i love isla fisher. can’t wait to c her in shopaholic.

anyway, i guess L.OV.E is pretty complicated n it seems like im running away from it.

it’s all L.I.K.E but not L.O.V.E – i wanna spent the rest of my life wif u kinda tg.

haha..

but this movie make me thing; that the one person for u might just around the corner.

oops, nope the movie x make me think that. i always had in mind bout that.

it make me think; that it could took u years just to tell that person how u really feel.

by years, i means YEARS!!

oh God, i hope i x have to wait that long.

but my situation lately, make me feel that it’s almost impossible to be wif anyone.

yup, all the chaser just end-up making me feel hopeless to ever find d one.

ok, cut the crap – go back to ur notes!!

ain’t it the life

i’ve been in quite a happy =) situation lately.
i mean, i realized how lucky i am to have people that really care for me around.
i mean those who really really care bout me.

met ridh the other day. we r at ‘peaceful’ situation now.

i don’t think i have the heart to end our friendship.

eventho i knew there might be a day where he’ll raise up the ‘issue’ again.

i juz x know how else to treat him, so I’ll treat him just like the other guy frens I have.

ok,anwar,who been terribly sweet lately.

hehe……all the audio msg touch me.

he even gave ‘creep’ acoustic version d other day.( stil prefer the deeper conversation)

hemm…but wif him, i think he did get my point.

after all these years, i think (n i terribly hope, keep my finger cross) he understand the friendship we had.

i hope he really did.

i’ve been thinking, why on earth didn’t i give any chance to these guys??

why on earth, i have to be this stubborn?

even if i x like them, but they deserve to be given a chance rite?

but will chance help to open up my heart again?

did i actually enjoy all the attention i get from these guy till i x want to be committed with sumone?? –BIG NO NO, i do want to be wif ‘the one’ n b only his.

did i still wait for u-know-who?? – IM NOT SURE, if he’s the reasons for all this.

both of us (or is it just him) seems to be moved on.

even wif pa_n, i x think tgs will work out.

its merely a fling, it’s not really because the whole womanizer tg i felt this way,

i knew it will turn out like the rest of the guys.

hemm….i guess i really have to stop thinking bout this whole lovey-dovey tg.

i might be the ‘magnet’ and sumhow have the ability (sound like im possessing sum sort of superpower..haha) to draw ppl (guy in particular) to me but it’s really not wat i want.

wats the point if the cupid’s arrow struck one side n not both side rite??

bersyukur wif whatever happen. myb it’s my duty to be there for them.

eventho it can be pretty tiring, evry1 seems to want evry lil piece of you.

but i shudn’t stop being helpful rite???

evrytg happen for a reason rite (i almost forget this fav phrase of mine)